tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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