I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize