Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
