I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
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He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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