That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize