I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
