This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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