Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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