remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
