I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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