i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
