you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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