I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
