Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize