If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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