it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i dont even know how to be here
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
