I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
