I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
