The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
