Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
