now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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