Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
