WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
