people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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