In the future we'll all be gay
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There r osticjed everywhere
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
