youre lurking in front of me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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