nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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