id be glad to
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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