Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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