is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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