i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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