Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
