Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
