i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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