And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
