She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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