You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
