i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
