I think my vagina is haunted
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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