I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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