it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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