my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
