Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
