I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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