So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
