Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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