im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower