do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.