Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?