so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza