are you still at the devil's house?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
