But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
