I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
50% drunk capacity currently
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
