I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
