And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
