dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
