Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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