you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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