just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
