Me too!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
