Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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