I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just crazy horny about you
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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