well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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