i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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