I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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