I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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